I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
