I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Randomize
