Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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