i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
