i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I party with great urgency now.
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