I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize