ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
