i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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