Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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