When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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