I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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