I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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