Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
