We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
