I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
