I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
