For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
