for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the day after is always just damage control
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
