I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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