I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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