Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god