Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
