What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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