I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
It was confusing and full of hummus
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
