im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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