one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
