I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
