My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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