I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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