i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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