ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
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Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
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I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize