You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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