Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
