Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize