he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
