Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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