So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
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Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
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He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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