maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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