Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
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This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
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How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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