Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
