Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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