There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
