Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize