have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
This is my gift to your gina
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
