He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize