was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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