remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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