Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
