I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
