i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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