I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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