She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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