i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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