thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
