I accidentally had phone sex last night
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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