so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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