apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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