Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
