Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
