We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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