Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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